Are musicians better at being romantic?

“It’s just that romance, with its dips and turns and glooms and highs, its swoops and swoons and blues, is a natural metaphor for music itself.”
— Nick Hornby

“Music makes one feel so romantic – at least it always gets on one’s nerves – which is the same thing nowadays.”
— Oscar Wilde

We’ve all seen it. The movie scene where the musician picks up a guitar, or sits down at a piano, and composes a beautiful love song for the one he or she is pursuing. Upon hearing it, the person the musician is trying to impress is captured by the melody and falls hopelessly in love.

If all it takes to secure everlasting love is the right song, then every musician should be able to perform their way into a happily-ever-after relationship. Clearly, that’s not the case for many of us.

It does seem that musicians are more sensitive to emotions. We use our gifts to communicate and inspire feelings of love, desire, and passion.

That doesn’t mean that every musician has a gift for romance.

Some of the most romantic songs of all time were composed and performed by people that weren’t the best at maintaining relationships. Their songs of everlasting love didn’t translate into their reality. Our songs only mean something to our loved ones when we back them up with actions.

While music is a wonderful way to show affection, the things that inspire true romance have little to do with your talent.  Putting your loved one’s needs first, listening and being attentive aren’t musical skills. They are relational skills, and musicians know that we only improve our skills when we practice them.

If you are married or in a committed relationship, find other creative ways to express your affection. Of course, creating music is one method, but our loved one will likely appreciate when you reach beyond your comfort zone to express your feelings. If you are single and searching, always remember that your future relationship depends on more than just the feelings invoked by a favorite love song.

Real love lasts longer than two verses, a chorus and a bridge.


For more encouragement for musicians, consider pre-ordering the “God and Gigs” book to be released in Spring of 2016.

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