You’re on stage performing, and you see it.
The slumped shoulders.
The bored look.
Staring at the phone as they whittle away the hours.
No, this isn’t your entire audience. It’s only one person in the audience.
The one you came with.
If you are a married musician, you know what happens when you bring your spouse to your gig. It’s the musician’s widow / widower effect. We have a busy gig calendar, so we attempt to bring our loved one to a nice venue or gig and share the night with them.
It usually ends up with the above reactions. It’s not that they don’t love your music, though they’ve probably heard it a million times. It’s because they would rather not share you with the rest of the crowd for once.
When we are at our gigs, our primary focus is usually the music on stage. While our loved one may enjoy the ambiance and want to support us, they become a secondary priority. We only talk with them during breaks, and often they have to sit and wait while we set up and break down.
Not the most enjoyable evening out.
Instead of trying to combine date night and gig night, make sure to schedule nights off so you can give your spouse your full attention. Your relationship and your career will benefit when you both spend time away from the music, and instead focus on each other.
Prioritize the person you love over your performances. You’ll be glad you did.
(Originally posted June 1, 2015 as “Why gig night isn’t the same as date night”)